Maybe you are in the position of seeing retirement in your near-future, but it is not too late to think about these topics most people may not think about before they retire.
Where are you the most social? At work or related to your home life? Women seem to have a better social network in place for when they retire than men do. As I have observed over the years, men seem to have their social network more at work instead of dividing it also into the home environment, perhaps with a spouse. Then when retirement comes, that social area is cut off possibly because you don't see the people you knew at work as much or at all, except maybe at reunions etc.
Sometimes men's socializing is cut off when their spouse dies before they do, and they may feel like a third wheel going out with friends they have had with their wife. This could be true also for the woman if her husband dies. All of a sudden, you have to make a whole set of new friends when this happens, and the change is really hard to manage.One solution could be to develop friendships of the same gender as well as with your spouse, so you don't have to make a whole bunch of new friends all at once.
The other topic that may be eye-opening is how your spouse feels about your retirement. I have had people I worked with during my life who couldn't stand to be home with their spouse because they couldn't get along. They weren't used to having them around all the time, and now that they are, a job is in order to help them preserve their sanity and marriage. When the spouse was working, the other one had a routine and did things alone until the spouse got home. But now that the spouse is home all the time, the routine is changed and there is less alone time.
One solution could be to assess your relationship now as well as before you retire. Work on fixing the problems that can contribute to a less than peaceful relationship after you retire. Maybe you don't have a peaceful relationship now, so you cannot expect it to be more harmonious when you retire? This same problem can happen to people who are in a marriage or relationship together when they go into business, and they are around each other all the time. One way to look at it is, if you don't get along when you are apart from each other part or all of the day, then you probably won't get along when you are around each other most or all of the time.
Another way to fix the problems discussed in this article is to have hobbies or interests you each do alone and also things you do together. Don't go overboard with the interests done alone or it may make you grow apart. The idea here is to create space for each person to have alone time from each other as well as time doing things together.
Think about what has been written here and assess yourself as well as your relationship with that person you love and care about. Talk about what you have read and see if it applies to you and your relationship, then fix it before it becomes a bigger problem later on.
Please don't procrastinate doing something about what you have read here today. If you want a peaceful relationship now and in the future, talk about these subjects objectively and in a nice way. Be honest with yourself and your loved one, and work on solutions together. One article cannot cover all the different ways relationships work, so mold these words to your own situation.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dan_Langerock
Where are you the most social? At work or related to your home life? Women seem to have a better social network in place for when they retire than men do. As I have observed over the years, men seem to have their social network more at work instead of dividing it also into the home environment, perhaps with a spouse. Then when retirement comes, that social area is cut off possibly because you don't see the people you knew at work as much or at all, except maybe at reunions etc.
Sometimes men's socializing is cut off when their spouse dies before they do, and they may feel like a third wheel going out with friends they have had with their wife. This could be true also for the woman if her husband dies. All of a sudden, you have to make a whole set of new friends when this happens, and the change is really hard to manage.One solution could be to develop friendships of the same gender as well as with your spouse, so you don't have to make a whole bunch of new friends all at once.
The other topic that may be eye-opening is how your spouse feels about your retirement. I have had people I worked with during my life who couldn't stand to be home with their spouse because they couldn't get along. They weren't used to having them around all the time, and now that they are, a job is in order to help them preserve their sanity and marriage. When the spouse was working, the other one had a routine and did things alone until the spouse got home. But now that the spouse is home all the time, the routine is changed and there is less alone time.
One solution could be to assess your relationship now as well as before you retire. Work on fixing the problems that can contribute to a less than peaceful relationship after you retire. Maybe you don't have a peaceful relationship now, so you cannot expect it to be more harmonious when you retire? This same problem can happen to people who are in a marriage or relationship together when they go into business, and they are around each other all the time. One way to look at it is, if you don't get along when you are apart from each other part or all of the day, then you probably won't get along when you are around each other most or all of the time.
Another way to fix the problems discussed in this article is to have hobbies or interests you each do alone and also things you do together. Don't go overboard with the interests done alone or it may make you grow apart. The idea here is to create space for each person to have alone time from each other as well as time doing things together.
Think about what has been written here and assess yourself as well as your relationship with that person you love and care about. Talk about what you have read and see if it applies to you and your relationship, then fix it before it becomes a bigger problem later on.
Please don't procrastinate doing something about what you have read here today. If you want a peaceful relationship now and in the future, talk about these subjects objectively and in a nice way. Be honest with yourself and your loved one, and work on solutions together. One article cannot cover all the different ways relationships work, so mold these words to your own situation.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Dan_Langerock
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